Meeting My Younger Self for Coffee: A Conversation That Heals

Why the popular TikTok/Instagram reel is so healing

Earlier this month, a viral Instagram and TikTok trend took off—people imagining what it would be like to sit down for coffee with their younger selves. What would they say? How would it feel?

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Because if I could meet my younger self today, I know exactly where I’d find her.

She’d be sitting in the corner of a coffee shop, gripping her cup like a lifeline. She’d be tired—not just physically, but emotionally. Tired of pretending she had it all together. Tired of chasing perfection. Tired of carrying shame for the things she didn’t yet understand.

She’d look up at me, but not be able to meet my eyes, and I’d smile.

And then I’d tell her the words she needed to hear back then—the ones I’ve spent years learning myself.

“You are not broken. You are becoming.”

For so long, I looked back at my past self with judgment. I replayed the choices I made, the people I trusted, the times I stayed silent when I should have spoken up. I used to wonder why she didn’t know better, why she didn’t see the warning signs, why she didn’t do better.

But now?

Now I realize she was always doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.

And so was I.

And so are you.

Why This Practice is So Healing

The idea of meeting our younger selves isn’t just a sentimental exercise—it’s a powerful tool for healing. Here’s why:

🔹 It shifts how we see ourselves. Instead of looking back with criticism, we start seeing our past selves with compassion. We recognize that she wasn’t failing—she was just learning.

🔹 It heals old wounds. Many of us grew up without the validation, love, or support we needed. When we imagine giving it to our younger selves now, we repair the emotional gaps left behind.

🔹 It breaks unhealthy cycles. A lot of our present struggles are echoes of unmet needs from our past. When we acknowledge those needs, we stop repeating patterns that no longer serve us.

🔹 It fosters self-forgiveness. We learn to extend grace to the girl we used to be. To acknowledge that she was never meant to be perfect—just human.

What Would You Say to Her?

Maybe you’d tell her that she doesn’t have to be perfect to be loved.

Maybe you’d tell her that the things she’s carrying—fear, shame, self-doubt—aren’t hers to hold forever

.

Maybe you’d just sit with her, hold her hand, and let her know she’s not alone.

Because she’s not.

And neither are you.

This is what healing looks like. Not erasing the past, but learning to hold it with love.

So today, if you have a quiet moment, close your eyes. Imagine her. Let her sit across from you, in that coffee shop, in that memory. And when she looks up at you, waiting—what will you say?

I’d love to hear. Drop a comment, send a message, or just sit with this thought for a while. Sometimes, the conversations we never had are the ones that heal us the most.